


it's a funny thing, to float in space

by willannanan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression?, Dissociation, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Kinda, Lance and Shiro are there, be careful reading this, but barely, it's not happy, kind of?, more like not wanting to be there at all, no beta we die like men, seriously, vague suicidal thoughts?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willannanan/pseuds/willannanan
Summary: hi, please be careful reading this if any of the tags could trigger you! remember to take care of yourself lovelies!i sat down and wrote this in an hour so if it's bad then sorry i guess? let me know if there are any mistakes :) the ending is a little off, i know, but i couldn't figure out how to end it properly
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron)
Kudos: 12





	it's a funny thing, to float in space

**Author's Note:**

> hi, please be careful reading this if any of the tags could trigger you! remember to take care of yourself lovelies!
> 
> i sat down and wrote this in an hour so if it's bad then sorry i guess? let me know if there are any mistakes :) the ending is a little off, i know, but i couldn't figure out how to end it properly

Everything trembles, splitting with cracks.

It doesn’t shatter, not yet. The splintered pieces hover somewhere between falling and being pulled back together. It might not ever shatter but that hardly matters, hardly makes a difference, when everything feels like it’s falling apart and spinning away anyway. Which is ridiculous, really. How can everything feel like it’s spinning and moving when they’re stuck in place? There’s nowhere for the pieces to go in the vast emptiness of space and yet Keith feels far away, everything detached and removed from himself.

He’s not moving. His lips are tingling and he can’t feel his fingers as his mind floats away from his body. No. No he can’t let it get like this again. He needs to do something, to train, to bring himself back.

Get up…

Get up.

Get up.

Get up!

Get up!

He yells at himself inside his head, the command getting louder and louder until it drowns out the sound of his own thoughts and he manages to pull himself upright, feeling hazy and floaty. Everything is off. Just a little bit. He can’t quite make out how, but everything seems different and wrong and less real.

Oh.

He’s in the training room. When did he get there?

Keith shakes off the feeling and activates his bayard, yelling out for a training level, he’s not sure which one he chose, it doesn’t matter, doesn’t make a difference, he just needs the clash of metal and the familiar burn of muscles as he pants and trains. Sweat drips down his forehead and he wipes it away with a growl, throwing himself further into the training.

Eventually he comes to a stop. His chest heaves and he’s drenched in sweat but his lips aren’t tingling anymore and he can feel his hands again, can feel himself again, his mind present. Mostly. As present as it ever gets, anyway, just a couple centimetres off from the real world instead of miles away.

He blinks and he’s in the shower room, hair damp and skin hot from a shower he doesn’t remember. Oh well. Someone finds him, later, and makes him eat with the team, some kind of alien food that Keith doesn’t remember the taste of. The world is cracking again and he just wants to leave, to sleep, anything to get away from the distorted pieces of everything.

He falls into bed and floats away.

///

Keith wakes from a nightmare after.

The world shifts around him, scratchy and wrong, and he lies there.

He doesn’t sleep again.

///

His dreams and waking life are no different. They haven’t been for a while. Everything is hazy and he’s not sure what’s happening or what isn’t anymore. That’s okay though. He briefly wonders what day of the week it is at one point, getting so turned around that he forgot time didn’t exist, not here in space. It makes him laugh. And then he cries.

///

It’s not fair.

How is he supposed to be there, be present, when all he is is empty? If people where either glasses half full or half empty then Keith’s glass was spilled on the floor and cracked into tiny shards. He’s not sure what tipped it over, or how it smashed into pieces. But he is sure that it’s broken.

Broken.

Shattered and cracked and splintered like the world around him. Maybe Keith’s not as lost as he thought.

He shakes his head.

If he had thought a few weeks ago (maybe longer? Time was weird in space. Although it was probably weirder in his head) that he would let himself float out of his brain for this long he would’ve paled. Been concerned. It’s funny how things change. How he hadn’t been truly present in so long. He could never feel his fingers anymore, his lips were always tingling, and the days blended together in an unending see of nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He doesn’t know what had happened yesterday. Or the day before. He doesn’t remember that morning, though he’s sure he had eaten with the others. Probably.

Keith buries his head in his hands and tugs at his hair.

He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t feel anything.

Not anymore.

///

The others have definitely noticed. Keith can tell by the way they glance at him and the way they linger, barely letting him out of their sight.

Lance and Shiro are the worst for it.

If it’s not Shiro with his calm smile and gentle eyes swimming with concern then it’s Lance with a friendly hand on his shoulder, a hand that tenses when he realises how out of it Keith is.

Keith hates it.

He’s used to the feeling now, the vague haziness and floaty quality his life has now. If he’s even alive. He doesn’t know anymore. But sometimes.

Sometimes.

When Shiro pulls him into a hug or Lance throws an arm around his shoulders. Then Keith feels closer. Everything snaps into place so fast that he gets dizzy and can’t breathe but they sit with him, calm him down.

And he’s able to be real again, for a while. Until it all crumbles again.

It’s better, though. He didn’t realise how much he missed feeling present until he was sobbing into Lance’s shoulder, the blue paladin running a hand down his back comfortingly.

It - he - wouldn’t be okay, not for a long time.

But with them there. Well, it was better. And that’s all he could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> please remember to be kind to yourself and reach out for help if you need to! i know everything can feel awful and overwhelming but if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. remember to drink some water and be nice to yourself, you're wonderful and you deserve it <3


End file.
